If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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