he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
