yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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