Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
