Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
