so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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