Sacagawea was the original milf.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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