i was born a porn star she said
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize