You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sorry my hands just texted you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
