ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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