my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
