I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
