Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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