I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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