But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Randomize
