the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
