Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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