so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
