i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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