You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
