I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
