i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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