I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
