Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be

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(416): View more from Toronto

Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?

(416): View more from Toronto

Better looking than her though please.

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(734): View more from Michigan

What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later

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(928): View more from Arizona

No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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(801): View more from Utah

Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.

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(303): View more from Colorado

conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex

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