just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
