dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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