I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
