Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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