Only a mothe r could love this liver
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
