My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just threw up on my dentist
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
