Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you win again, gameday.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
