Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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