even my farts smell like vagina
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
