who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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