that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
