Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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