This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize