If i come over, it means nothing
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You can't just leave with hair like that
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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