We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize