So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so let's talk penis.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
