OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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