I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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