Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
