She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
