How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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