I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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