im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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