What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
