I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
