what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
