I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
