I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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