hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
