sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
