Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
