Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
