I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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