I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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