Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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