that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
