Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize