question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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